Writing

WALT edit and re craft

This week we had to make a writing about a fox. Here it is

Fox vs Wolf

In the bushes you see an orange tail getting ready to pounce. A little mouse is slowly walking past, in a flash the fox pounces and the mouse is sprinting away while the fox gives chase, as they leap around the forest a cliff comes up the mouse jumps and falls into the darkness. The fox hears the noise of the mouse squealing for its life as the fox sees red evil terrifying eyes peering at him .The fox runs away. He then gets distracted by a butterfly and frolic around it, until it sees a cloud consuming him.

The fox runs to a cliff where it climbs up and goes into its cave where it has its belongings. There is a doll and a blanket he lies there while the booming of rain falls as the fox sits there. Suddenly he sees black outlines of wolves chasing the whole forest. The cry of a deer echoes around

He wakes up as you see a waterfall across from the fox he goes over there to drink he sees a fish he leaps into the water getting the fish in his mouth he got it, but then a wolf comes and lickes the water. Blood goes through the water as the fox holds his breath as the wolf looks directly at him, he leaves the fox and comes up shocked with fear he runs away

The wolf waiting sprints at him. They run all around the forest, the fox climbs up a tree the wolf follows, barely jumps from one tree to another his front legs are barely hanging on, and he lifts himself up. Under the tree is a big hole going very deep if he were to fall he will surely die there is a tree on the other end, so he jumps while the wolf open his mouth and just as he's going to bite him he leaps in the air he jumps on and barely makes it as the wolf falls as the fox gets away the forest is safe.

Feedback from Caleb: Well done Xavier I like how you used the paragraphs. Keep up the good work.




Feedback from Mrs Hall: Well written Xavier, I liked the way that you used paragraphs and organised your writing into different ideas.




Reflection




What did I enjoy: I enjoyed making the story because I could use my imagination

What could I make better: I think I could be more descriptive